Someone Once Said

I don’t remember where or when, but someone once said, “One grows used to things, even though sometimes, one shouldn’t.” I know it sounds like a “Yoda” quote, but I checked, and it’s not. That doesn’t mean it’s not thought-provoking!

After pondering it for a while, I decided that I have done this. Many times. I like familiar. I like comfortable. Nothing wrong with that. Where the trouble comes, is when you stay in a place or relationship that is toxic or sad because you keep thinking it will get better, or when you think “this is all there is” and just try to settle in and be content with where you’re at.

Now if anyone knows me, they know that I’m all about making the best out of a bad situation. You make a bad choice? You “man up” (or “woman-up”) and live with the consequences. Suck it up. Pick yourself up by the bootstraps and fake it til you make it. Right? That’s what successful people do, right? That’s what Christians do, right? You don’t admit you’re lonely or sad and God-forbid, depressed. Why would you? You have all of heaven behind you, right? You have a Bible on your nightstand, shelves filled with positive, encouraging sermons and daily devotions. You have the prayer groups that put you on their list to pray for you and a home church filled with hundreds of fellow believers surrounding you. So seriously? There should be no room for the sad, the lonely and the despondent. So what does one do when you fake it, but never make it.

Our society is filled with people that just learn to smile and say “I’m fine” “I’m good” “I’m okay” and they fill every second with busy stuff because if they were ever alone or quiet, they might realize that everything is not okay. Everything is not fine.  Or, worse yet, they just stop filling every second of the day with busy-ness and just learn to live with it. Those feelings and emotions become your “normal”. You figure, this is just the way it is, so get happy. Keep it to yourself. Don’t burden others. Don’t make a scene. Comb your hair, get dressed, put a smile on and face your day. These are your issues; your concerns; your problems and when the front door closes and you crawl into bed at night, you allow those emotions to pour out. Whether it’s through a good cry; a two-hour writing binge or an entire season of “When Calls The Heart”. Then you turn over, grab your pillow and feel guilty for doing that instead of praying or reading your Bible. So you start praying and feel some relief; you remember the devotion from this morning and you smile. You let out a huge sigh and close your eyes and wonder if tomorrow will be better. One can only hope.

I know this is a bit of a “Debbie Downer” episode in the life of Pam, but sometimes the truth behind all the layers of onion skins isn’t all sunshine and roses. Most of the time it’s raw and prickly and hurts like the dickens!

So back to my topic at hand…Do we get used to things we shouldn’t? For me…I’d have to say yes. How about you? Do you allow your misery to become your norm? Your anger to become a warm blanket? Your fear to become your best friend?

If you do…you are not alone. I keep reminding myself that God created humans to need other humans. Not to try to make it on their own. He loves connections and relationships; open hearts and open arms; grace and forgiveness and He wants the very best for each of His children. So who’s stopping the “very best” from happening? Who’s making us believe that “this is all there is – so get use to it” Where does that thinking come from? I could list one name for sure…Satan. His sole purpose is to hurt, kill, destroy and devastate. His favorite tactics are betrayal, disloyalty, hate, hurt, deception, death, destruction, emptiness, sadness, fear, intimidation, insecurity and on and on and on.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to get used to any of that. I’m not naive enough to think that my saying so, will make it happen. But just so you know… I’m doing my best to do better. To be better. And to allow an invisible God to show me that He cares and that He’s concerned about me. About you. And that He becomes visible through others. We really do matter. Our sadness, loneliness, fear, and insecurities are not unseen to Him. He promised to make a way when there seems to be no way.

I think everyone if they’re honest, is lonely, afraid or sad about something. Life is just all of us trying to find a way not to be.

For those of you who know me, I always have a song that encourages me through every aspect of my life. Here are a few lines of one that is a beautiful reminder that He sees us through different eyes.

I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I’m not enough
Every single lie that tells me I will never measure up
Am I more than just the sum of every high and every low
Remind me once again just who I am because I need to know

You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
And you say I am held when I am falling short
And when I don’t belong, oh You say I am Yours
And I believe 

Oh I believe 
What You say of me 
I believe.