Changes

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People say “change is good.” Change CAN be good, but it can also be terrifying. Especially for someone who has enjoyed something (or someone) for a long period of time. Whether it’s your spouse, your mom or dad, sibling or loyal pet. When change comes, it can rock your foundation; stir up your confidence or break your heart.

The good side of “change” is when you are stuck and need something different. Sometimes all we need is to be pushed out of the nest, so to speak. We get comfortable. Too comfortable, and forget that there is an entire world out there to explore. No, I’m not necessarily talking about traveling the world or backpacking the Himalayans! It could be as simple as taking an art class; joining a writers group; finding great hiking places in your area and doing THAT on your day off instead of binging on Talenti Ice Cream and reading the latest novel of your favorite author. Okay, I am so guilty of that one. When you work hard all week and only have one day off (other than Sunday, which really isn’t a day off because we’re busy going to church), hiking probably won’t be my first choice. I secretly envy my friends that take all of these amazing photos of there treks up and down mountains and canyons. I hiked down the Grand Canyon once in my life, and I’m perfectly happy to be able to tell that story. I was 16 years old, so it was a rush. A blast. A fantastic moment in my youth. At 60, trying that?? I don’t think so. I love the GC, but I would rather stand and look at it while sipping my hot coffee, than to hike down it. Just sayin!

Back to my topic…Change. For me, when change happens suddenly, without thought or preparation, it’s scary. Very scary. My dad taught me that when change comes, you must learn to adjust. Be flexible. As a Christian, change is a bit easier, simply because while we are grieving or sweating bullets or our heart is racing with a lack of confidence, we have someone we can turn to and know without a doubt, that He is in control. Faith in God is a powerful gift. Does it remove all feelings of doubt and fear? No. At least not for me. But I have learned through my 60 years of life, that fear is not always a bad thing. If we didn’t experience fear, we’d never understand peace. If we never had changes in our life, we would never comprehend how nice it is to have a faithful spouse; a steady job; a loyal dog; a healthy body or a good running car. The winds of change can swipe each of those away from us, at any time. The reactions of change are vast and various. Grief and sadness, heartbroken and alone, financially frantic or being awakened to your mortality.

I found out yesterday that a friend of mine lost her dad. It was sudden. No unexpected, but sudden, none the less. He was loved by so many. The memories I have of the friendship between our families just flooded my mind all day. The void will be great; the change for my friend, her siblings, and children will be immense. The comfort of knowing we will see him again is something that only a Christian can truly appreciate. It doesn’t lessen the sadness we feel on this side of heaven. For all of those that have experienced the loss of a loved one, you know that the sun still rises and sets, the alarm still goes off, the school bus still shows up, the garbage still has to be dumped and bills keep coming due. We still have to live with the loss, until that reuniting in heaven takes place. Whether its a few days, months or years down the road, we still have to find a way to make peace with how we choose to live, today. Sounds easy? Trust me, it’s not. Even with all of the faith, hope and excitement for what’s to come, it’s still exhausting. No matter how long it’s been. We lean on Jesus. We grab ahold of friendships and family and manage to get through one day. Then we do it again the next day and the next.

Changes…I have been facing a lot of them lately. In January I had my very first surgery – my gallbladder! It made me realize how blessed I am that God has given me 60 years without too many health problems. My health issues have been minimal in comparison to so many.  My niece, Harmony. My great nephew, Drake. Both have been fighting life and death situations for so long. Thank God for the power of prayer! God is still in the healing business and we have seen His grace displayed over and over again.

Another change for me this year has been turning 60. For the first time in my life, I started feeling my mortality. Fifty didn’t bother me at all, but there’s just something about 60 that had me feeling a little like time was speeding up at a rate that was not acceptable to me. Everything seems to be happening faster than usual. Maybe it’s just that my mind and body are moving a little slower. Either way, it’s a bit disconcerting.

In March, I crossed the 20-year mark at my job. Every time I say that out loud, it really is amazing. Twenty years at the same job. Day in and day out. As many of you know, I’ve been wanting to make a change in that area of my life. I prayed about it and made the decision to retire from Liberty Mutual, effective June 1st. As I have been working with my Retirement Coordinator, getting all my ducks in order, I have been having scary dreams at night and my heart rate has been a little shaky. She assured me that for someone who has been working since they were 16, this is not unusual. You have no idea how scary it’s been, yet also very exciting. The closer I get to that date, I am starting to figure out what I’m going to do after retirement. The only things I could think of were to finish my book and get it published and in the marketplace. I want to take a few road trips and maybe a European vacation. Organizing my closet is a big item I want to accomplish. Honestly, I have been looking around at other “easy-fun” jobs that I would enjoy doing to keep me busy and to pay for the exorbitant price of health insurance that I’m going to be paying for myself starting June 1st. I actually have a few interviews over the next month or two. Retirement from my job doesn’t mean I’m ready to hang up my boots just yet. I’m still young enough and feel I have a lot to bring to the table, still. But for now, I’m actually really looking forward to this new chapter in my life. It’s a huge change in my life, and even though I have no idea what the future holds, I am certain of one thing. I know who does! Whatever comes during this adventure, I will trust in Him.

Changes – My boss use to tell me that the only certainty in life, is that things change. So get happy and find a way to adjust.

The job I have done for the last 20 years, has taught me about adjusting. When you take 70-80 calls a day from different backgrounds and walks of life, it teaches you to adjust your thinking and attitude frequently. One call could be the elderly lady who lives alone with her cats and just needs to talk to someone because she’s worried. The next might be the 30 something up and coming do-gooder who has you on speaker phone while he’s driving 80 mph down the road, trying to read the VIN of the new vehicle he just purchased. He just wants the transaction to be fast, accurate and did I mention, FAST?

People are all unique and interesting. It just depends what kind of eyes you’re looking through. So thank you Liberty Mutual. The years have been good and the changes in my life have been positive.

Life is moving forward…rapidly. So keep holding on. Keep fighting for what’s right. Be willing to adjust your heart. Do the best you can with the information you’ve been given and breathe, because more change is coming!

Here’s to the bend in the road…

P