As I sit this evening with my screen door opened and the magnificent March night air coming through, I am reminded that this won’t last forever. In the not-so-distant future, the temperatures outside at 7:30 p.m. will be in the 90’s, or worse. So…I am soaking up every moment I can. Leaving my doors and windows propped open until I finally have to turn the air conditioner on and leave the ceiling fan on its highest speed until around mid-October. You gotta love the desert!
Today I wasn’t able to make it to church. I don’t like when that happens, but it occasionally does, so I do my best to get over the “guilty” feeling while taking care of myself physically. With a bum knee and painful back, I’ve been feeling more 80 than my actual age. (Ha, you thought I was going to tell you my age?? No way.) I’ve always said that some days I feel 80 and other days I feel 30, so I’m always grateful to be somewhere in the middle. I call it the “muddy-middle.”
Others call it “middle-aged” which for me, sounds like something out of medieval times. I read an interesting article the other day by Ceridwen Dovey. It was basically about a novel he was working on where the main character was an elderly man – in his mid-80’s. When he sent the first draft to his editor, he was asked how he could possibly know what old-age is truly like. So Dovey went back and started digging deeper. I won’t go into all the details, but here is one portion of the article that caught my attention.
“Most of what has been written in the sociological literature about life in our seventies, eighties, and nineties suggests that who we are when we are old remains pretty close to who we were when we were young. There is comfort in the idea of some consistency of self across the decades.”
After pondering that quote for a while, I agree with part of it. There is comfort in the idea that we still have that youthful, wholesome, zeal that we had when we were young, once we become old. If we were creative as a young person, that stays with us as we age. If we were a book-lover and a little bit of the nerd when we were in school, there probably is a bit of the serious scholar still in us as we age.
I supposed if you were an evil, awful, despicable person when you were young, then it would be frightening to think that you were going to be the same when you are old. I am one of those that believe people can change if they really want to and if they seek guidance from God or wise-counsel, which in my opinion is a godly person, pastor, teacher or advocate. I also believe that we are all born in sin. The Bible says so, even if it’s not a comfortable or popular thought. It’s true.
Think about it – Do you have to teach a child to lie? Nope. They are doing it from the time they are a toddler, or earlier. As a parent, it’s our job to teach our children to be honest and not to lie. Show them how to be kind, sympathetic and empathetic. Live a life of integrity so that when our kids grow and become a part of society, they actually have something to bring to the table. Something to give back.
Givers not takers. Lovers, not haters (that sounds like a song, right?) Those are traits that must be taught. We are not born with them. We are born to be takers, deceivers, liars, cheaters and the list goes on and on. I realize when you brought that sweet bundle home from the hospital and looked into that adorable face, it was hard to fathom. But trust me, give it a couple years and when he/she is standing in front of you with frosting all over his/her face and you ask if he/she was the one who touched the cake and that adorable child of yours looks right at you and shakes his/her head, no. Just sayin!
But the good news is that a person doesn’t have to stay that way. (Not necessarily with chocolate on their face), but in other ways. God made a way of escape. The word escape is perfect. It truly is escaping the prison of who we were and moving on to what we can be.
So back to my aging discussion… It is comforting to think that some of the characteristics we had as a child, are still with us as an elderly person. But it is also comforting to know that if we weren’t our better versions of ourselves when we were young, (which most of us weren’t) that we have a way of escape and a chance to change and be that better version.
In the book of Deuteronomy, we are told that Moses was 120 years old when he died, yet his eyes were not weak nor his strength gone. So I would say that Moses retained some of his youthful health and spunk even at the grand old age of 120. Great genes by the way. But I am pretty certain he would agree that he was much wiser at 120 than he was at 40 or 50.
I’m so thankful that God meets us where we are. Whether we are 20 or 120. If we want to change, He’s there to help. If we want to choose a different direction, He’s there to guide us.
So, here’s to living the best version of ourselves. In our youth or in our old age! Either one will do.
Just thinking out loud.
Pam Torres | Author 