Do you ever have those moments when you feel peace and distress at the same time? Strange, right? Most likely the distress part is coming from this unusual and non-recognizable world I’m finding myself in. I walk outside or take a drive and it’s as if I’m visiting someplace alien. My schedule has been knocked out of balance; my norms have been completely thrown out and it’s like I’m either the alien on the same planet, or it’s still me, but on some weird place out of the twilight zone.
I’m a writer, so I’m allowed to be dramatic, but I know you catch my drift. Nothing feels stable, permanent, comfortable, normal. For a Christian like myself, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Maybe I loved this place called Earth a little too much. Maybe it was feeling a bit too lasting than it should. I know this is not my permanent home. I know it’s temporary and I’m just here for a moment and then I’ll be where I belong.
Did all of this happen just so I could see how at ease I had become with this dwelling place? I hope not. I want to think I always had a longing for heaven. Not just after I took my last breath, but a yearning for something more. Something better. Something eternal and perfect. I got lazy. I became distracted by Earths beauty and abundance. It’s ease of use; it’s quick pleasures. Don’t get me wrong. This Earth has immense beauty and many qualities. And personally I love a good washer and dryer and dishwasher. It makes life easier. I use the technology as much as the next person. As much as I love maps and globes, its so much easier to just as Alexa, Siri or Google how to get some place, than to read a map while driving.
Corona has turned our world upside down and inside out. Some fear it, some ignore it and others just try to do the right thing and keep a balance. Personally, prayer is my go-to, but I also mask up, wash often and stay home more than I ever have. I use to love going out…sadly, not so much any more. We’re all just making the best of a bad situation and hoping things will go back to the way they were. All the times we complained about the way things were, now seem foolish. I talked to a man last week who said, “no matter how bad things were last year, I’d go back in a heartbeat to get away from where we are now…I’ll never complain about the little things again. If we can get past this, I’ll be grateful.” Maybe that’s a lesson to us all. Be grateful and thankful for what you have and where you’re at, no matter how difficult things are, because things can always get worse.
My mood today is truly a conflict of joyful, pensive, hopeful, sad, excited, scared and through it all, peaceful. I don’t have control over much of anything that’s happening, but I know the one who does have it all in control. He created me. He understands being sad, afraid, frustrated. I am forever grateful that He’s the King, and I’m his daughter. He’s got it all in control and he’s never too busy to listen to my heart. So no matter what is raging around me; no matter what I see with my eyes, He’s watching over every step I take; loving me; guiding me; encouraging me and giving me hope for a future. Yes, even a future here on planet earth for awhile longer, but better yet, an eternal future in my permanent place of residence. That give me peace, like nothing else can.
So no matter how my Monday moods are swinging, I can rest in the knowledge that today is gonna be all right. And that’s all I need.
Just thinking out loud.
P.
Pam Torres | Author 