Looking out the window I notice people going about their daily lives seemingly without a care in the world. Actually, that’s not true. For the most part, everyone I’ve seen in the past two hours all look as if the weight of the world is on their shoulders. Maybe not the world, but definitely their cell phone. Most were on their phones taking care of business. I’m sure it was important to them. Another portion of people were watching and waiting for their phone to ring or that text message to come through or that article to show up. Truthfully, if they weren’t talking on the phone, they were looking at the phone. Somehow they all managed not to run into each other. I was amazed. I can barely glance down at the curb I’m about to step up to without running into something. It takes skill to do what they do. That’s for sure. There were also the one’s who didn’t have their phone in their hand, but they had that little blue-tooth gadget in their ear and they were acting as if they were having a nice conversation with themselves. It always stumps me for a second when I encounter a person doing that. No one seems to worry now days if people will think them “crazy” for talking to themselves. They almost expect others to think they are very intelligent for being able to do this. When I was growing up, we called people who talked to themselves, “crazy”.
One thing is for certain…people don’t seem to mind being alone anymore. As long as they have their smartphone with them, they don’t feel the need to have anyone else. I never minded being alone in a restaurant even before smartphones or ipads showed up. All I needed was a good book or a notepad of paper and a great pen. I was perfectly content to wile away the hours at a diner just watching people and writing (or reading).
People use to do crossword puzzles with their morning cup of coffee at the local diner by themselves. They also use to visit with their neighbor or catch up with the waitress to see how her kids were doing. It’s not that we didn’t know how to be alone. We did. We just didn’t need that constant infiltration of information coming at us 24/7. A few chapters; one crossword puzzle; one newspaper; a verse or two of the Bible and maybe watch the news on TV and the rest was just communicating with actual people. Talking, touching, making eye contact, laughing, crying making connections.
I love going to coffee shops. I do my work on my laptop or in writing, sure. But I also love watching the people around me. Smiling, waving, saying “hi and how are you”. It still shocks people today when you do these things. Just taking a moment out of your moments and connecting with people even in a small way, will make their day better.
When we ask “how are you doing?” just be prepared. Most will say “fine” but a few may just let those few words be an opening of a flood gate of emotion…so when you ask…make sure you really are asking because you want to know; not just out of habit.
I think most people either ask just out of politeness, and don’t really expect anything more than, “I’m fine, how are you?” or “pretty good…how about you?” Most people are comfortable with that. It’s a polite response to a polite question, and quickly diverts the attention back to the other person and off of themselves. Tricky! I’ve done it hundreds of times. I’m a private person when it comes to my own issues, so I typically give a quick nice little answer and turn the spotlight back on the other person.
Believe it or not, there are still people in this world who actually do not want to be the center of attention. It may require a little more gentle persuasion to get them to open up. If you are in the Drive thru at Dutch Brothers Coffee, learn to make your conversation short and sweet, because those employees like to talk. They are always super friendly and are very talkative, which can be a bad thing when you run a very popular drive thru coffee place that ALWAYS has 10 or more cars in the line. So that might not be the place to open up with your feelings. If you catch my drift. 🙂
Bottom line for this Thoughtful Thursday…be kind to others. Pay attention and look up!
Pam Torres | Author 