Every time I say that out loud, it sounds like I’m in an AA meeting. Doesn’t matter…I still love saying it. Yes, I’ve always been a story writer. My grandmothers trunk from Norway is a daily reminder of that. It is filled with manuscripts, journals and pads of paper with lots of words written on them. Long, short, summaries, essays, random ideas and more serious novels. Yet, even after all the years and all the words that I have written, I have never had anything officially published and in print until two days ago! My heart is full and excited, and my mind is jumbled and terrified. What have I done? My sweet little short story I wrote two years ago is now out there for all to see, read, critique or roll their eyes and say, “you’ve got to be kidding? She calls herself an author?”
I was so confident just prior to hitting “submit”. Now I have re-read my story for the 500th time, and I keep finding things that I wish I had done different. My stomach is a little nauseous and when I see people who have purchased it either in Kindle or Amazon, I want to put my sunglasses on and a baseball cap so they won’t recognize me. Is that normal? I’m told by my fellow writers/authors, that it is perfectly normal. Thank goodness. I went from high excitement to low doubts in about 24 hours. Reminded me of the roller coasters I love so much. They are exciting and thrilling, but also terrifying! But it didn’t matter, because as soon as you got off, you went right back in line to ride again.
Somehow, I have made it through day 3 of my new experience, and I am already well into my new full length novel. Lord willing it should be ready for the editors block by the end of Summer. I am encouraged to do better and work harder so my story telling will not only change my life, but will change the readers life. That’s really my goal. When I write, I want my readers to take the journey with me so we both can transform into something different, better and braver.
One of my favorite authors, once said that all good stories are about transformation. The authors, the readers and the characters. He also said that a successful writer wants to write a story to change his/her own life, and take the reader on the adventure with him/her. (Thanks Ted Dekker for your amazing clarity and advice)
I want to connect with my readers. All of this will take practice. I plan on doing that. So stay in touch and come on the journey with me.
Just thinking out-loud…
P.Torres
